Report of the 11th National Day of the Dead, April 13th 2003
by Susanne Wuttke
"Would you like to help with organising this year's Day of the Dead?" I was asked in the office. After working for the Nicolas Albery Foundation as a volunteer for about a month I still wasn't too sure what the Natural Death Centre was all about.
Natural burials? Got an idea what that means. Same with giving advice on organising low-cost personalised funerals. But who is actually thinking about and preparing for their own death without any specific life-threatening imminence?
I couldn't quite imagine what an event would be like that was designed to remember people who have died and to contemplate our own mortality. Especially after being told that it was not a sinister occasion at all but, much to the contrary, a celebratory day where we were supposed to have fun and enjoy ourselves. While talking about death? I still had to learn that the idea of the UK Day of the Dead, which is inspired by the Mexican Day of the Dead, involves learning to accept death as an inevitable part of life and to be able to feel happy about having known a person apart from mourning over his or her death.
'The interest in the Day of the Dead is indeed huge'
During the next few weeks I spoke to a lot of people on the phone, inviting them to come along for the day and exhibit some of their work be it coffins, urns or memorials. And I learned that the interest in an event like the Day of the Dead is indeed huge. Many of the exhibitors-to-be agreed to take part in the day's events on first notice.
This was the 11th National Day of the Dead in the UK, but after celebrating it in a more or less familial context in the Centre's former home in Cricklewood with mostly friends of the Natural Death Centre for the last few years, it was felt that it was time to plan for a bigger event. The day's venue was St Peter's Church Hall in Portobello Road, very close to Portobello Market, and on this Sunday, 13th April 03, about ten exhibitors where about to come and give us an overview about the fast growing market of green funerals.
'I found myself in a conversation about death with a 6-year-old girl and her brother'
A big banner marked the entrance to the hall announcing the Day of the Dead in bright colours. All through the day passers-by stopped to read it and wondered what kind of party it was that was going on inside the hall. Some of them even popped in while we were still in the process of setting up to check out what we where up to. When I spent a few minutes outside the front door, a father with his two children stopped to ask me about the event and I found myself involved in a conversation about death and remembering the dead with a six-year-old girl and her brother of eight years. I have to say they seemed to find the idea much more perspicuous than I did when I first heard of it.
Everybody who arrived at the venue between 12 and 2pm surely got the impression of a big chaos as exhibitors and organisers of the Natural Death Centre all struggled along with getting everything in place and arranging the stalls in a way that everybody would be happy. Space was limited and with five different designs of coffins, a memorial artist, a letter cutter and several representatives of businesses involved with green funerals it seemed to be impossible to fit everything in at first sight. But after a lot of arranging and rearranging we finally were ready to get the party started shortly after 2pm. After some fiddle playing by Nell Battye creating the bright atmosphere we hoped to be sustaining throughout the day - Stephanie Wienrich welcomed all the exhibitors and guests, introduced us to the idea of the day, as many of us were taking part for the first time, and gave us an outline of the events to come. Then all the exhibitors had the opportunity to introduce themselves, their work and their objectives to the rest of us.
There was Hazel Selina with her ecopods who had taken part in the Day of the Dead before. This year she also joined in the coffin painting workshop the Natural Death Centre initiated as a special event for this year. She beautifully decorated one of the white exceptionally shaped ecopods with coloured transparent bits of paper.
Will and Lottie O¹Leary had come over to London for the day from Powys in Wales to show us their stone-carved memorials.
'More a kind of Moses basket than a coffin'
Another unusual coffin design was introduced by Nigel Price who is a maker of eco-friendly woven willow coffins that reminded me more of the kind of basket you would expect Moses was found in than of a coffin. Each of those coffins is an individual piece of art with its own structure determined by the growth of the willow.
The bamboo coffins William Wainman is distributing and which are manufactured in China are also and example of handwoven coffins made of biodegradable materials and - as William stressed made of the fastest growing natural fibre on earth.
A completely new concept of coffins was then introduced to us by Lisette de Roche who is a coffin painter: make use of your own coffin during your life as a wardrobe or cupboard for example. Lisette stressed that this can make the death of a beloved person a bit easier for the bereaved as they know that the coffin has been among the favourite belongings of the deceased. She told us a story about a woman, who is keeping her sewing stuff in her coffin and as that is her dearest hobby her family is associating the coffin with something she enjoys.
Engrefco, a manufacturer of cardboard coffins also brought over a new design of coffins they are flat-packed and can easily be put together by a single person.
'Fragile-looking branches and blossoms spread over one side of the coffin'
Meanwhile Amy Douglas an individual artist actively supporting the coffin painting workshop had started her design on a cardboard coffin, which has been donated by Greenfield. Throughout the day fragile-looking branches and blossoms spread over one side of the coffin.
Letter cutter Paul Flack brought some examples of his work as well as a coffin decorated with an ornate drawing.
Mary Dale from the Stile Company told us about the commemorative features they are encouraging and helping to implement in co-operation with various local artists. Going for this unusual opportunity means to create a very individual memorial for a beloved person.
A related idea was introduced by celebrant Laura Conyngham, who doesn¹t believe in the value of conservative funeral ceremonies. For her ceremonies she spends a lot of time on preparation, talking to the family and getting an image of the person that has died.
'Accept dying as part of life and treat the dying person with the care they deserve'
At the end of presentations Susan Morris, a palliative care nurse, reminded us that treating a dying person with respect and care is the first and most important step in meeting death and dying with a natural attitude. Not only after someone died do we need to consider the right decisions, the most important thing is to accept dying as a part of life and to treat dying people with the care and dignity they deserve. Courses on the art of dying are a way to learn about the special needs during this period.
A self-written poem recited by one of the guests dealing with pros and cons of high expenses for the last journey of a deceased and to our amusement depicting the view of the deceased ended the first part of the day. A break gave people the opportunity to take in all the information we had just heard, to speak to the exhibitors and ask further questions as well as to sneak over to the Lazy Daisy Café which was rented for the day as well to get a light lunch prepared by Retta Bowen. Nick Temple entertained us on the piano.
Half an hour later our group of about 100 people re-gathered in the main hall to enjoy Jay Griffiths reading from her book "Pip Pip: A sideways look at time" giving us humorous examples of the point of views different cultures assume.
Next up was poet Hugo Williams who read us some poems in which he was reflecting on his relationship with his father before and after the latter¹s death.
'Simon Clark's hilarious mimicking of the fear of death made us all laugh'
Now being in the mood for seeing the ironic side of death and life we enjoyed the performance of Simon Clark a singer and songwriter whose hilarious mimicking of the fear of death made us all laugh. By now I felt absolutely comfortable with the topic of the day so for me it was just the perfect moment to get back to some more serious issues.
Josefine Speyer, director of the Natural Death Centre and Nicolas Albery's widow, introduced us to the idea of making pre-arrangements for our own funerals by articulating our wishes to our beloved ones and especially to the concept of recording a message on video to be played after our death. She movingly told us how she knew exactly what her husband Nicholas Albery wanted for his funeral when he died in a car accident almost two years ago and how deeply touched she was by the video message she received from him.
Thom Osborn, a friend of the Natural Death Centre, went a bit deeper into the subject and read to us from a book containing the last letters of those who have been executed by the Nazis during the Second World War. He then initiated that we all talk to our neighbour and discuss what we would say in a video message if we would record it now. I have to admit that I didn't feel quite ready for that but then this was my first encounter with these matters. It will take some time until I get used to the idea of talking to people close to me through a video camera, assuming I might die tomorrow. But it definitely gave me something to brood over and sooner or later I might have a go myself.
The last act of the day was Pauline Goldsmith's performance of extracts of her show Bright Colours Only. She made us all laugh at her depiction of what a funeral director could be like and her marvellous act of a grandmother with false teeth. I didn't know that someone could look that different without actually being hit by a stroke.
'Mexican Day of the Dead Pan de muertos and skull-shaped cookies'
After that we all headed off to the café again to get a refreshment in a Mexican Day of the Dead-like style: pan de muertos and skull-shaped cookies. The day was summed up with a memorial ceremony.
It was planned, that everybody would light a candle for someone who had died and share a memory about that person, but as there where so many of us and not much space left for the candles, Josefine went for a somewhat slimmed-down version. She lit one candle and passed around a jug of water with a flower. I found that was really increased the intimacy of the ceremony as everybody knew exactly who was going to speak next and when it was his or her turn. That way we all stayed quiet and listened. Some of the stories told were very moving, others just named the person they wished to think of and some of us decided to pass the jug on in silence. After all the events of the day this was the perfect way of remembering why we had all come to this party.
'I learned that it is possible to enjoy a party that is all about death and dying'
So what did I learn by this experience? First, it is possible to enjoy a party that is all about death and dying. Second, it is amazing how friendly everybody at the day was. And third sooner or later I probably will tackle the issue of how I want my funeral to be. Just maybe a bit laterŠ
The Natural Death Centre, 12a Blackstock Mews, Blackstock Road, London N4 2BT tel 020 7359 8391; fax 020 7354 3831; email: contact@naturaldeath.org.uk; web: www.naturaldeath.org.uk.
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